One day, at the first bike shop I worked at, a customer learned my name and used it in a friendly manner. This took me from being a friendly sales person to wanting to be his friend and help him get whatever he wanted — incredible! I have always been bad with names, and I frequently hear others say they are as well.  When I asked the bike shop customer how he got to be so good at learning names, he told me he was a teacher and had a lot of practice.  Eventually, I decided that I had had enough fumbling around with people’s names that I had met multiple times already that I was going to become good at learning names. Now finally, after three years of consistent practice, learning names comes naturally.

During this process I figured out that a person’s name is the most important word in the world to that person.  Learning their name will show that you care about them, making you into — boom! — their instant ally and friend. One of my new favorite things to do is go to a party where not everyone knows each other. Once I introduce myself to someone, I learn their name, and then go around and introduce my new friend.  Everyone assumes that I must know everyone from before the party because I’m so comfortable calling people by name.  Since I live in a small town, it gives me an extra bonus when I run into people on the street and remember who they are.

There are a couple of different strategies I use to make sure the names stick.  The first is to come up with some dumb little phrase that their name goes into like: “Oh your name is Ben? Like the giant clock tower in London-Big Ben?” Another good one is to think of a friend who has the same name and picture what they do. “Your name is Kyle? I have a friend named Kyle who plays a mean guitar.” You can pick out some weird feature about them, like their upturned nose or dragon tattoo to trigger their name when you picture the person.  Finally try putting their name in this song — “I met him on a monday and his name was Paco…a do run run run a do run run…he really liked to eat some tacos…yeah and he wore some Chacos (sandals)…” etc. Get extra bonus points if you leave the party with a round of Hive Fives!

So, there you go, the special secret ‘Derek Loudermilk Name Learning Techniques’.  Now go make everyone want to be your friend!