There was a commencement address where Warren Buffet or Charlie Munger (and now I can’t remember which is was) tells the graduates how not to succeed in life (he then suggests avoiding his advice). I am taking a page out of his book and I am going give you some great advice about how to be boring.

1. Maintain a lack of emotion. Smiling, crying, laughing, grinning, being honest, vulnerable, thoughtful, happy, jolly, funny, exuberant, zany, wild, crazy, giddy, goofy, witty, clever, nonsequitous, punny, and playful are the worst attributes for a boring person.

2. Be predictable. Make sure that you do the same thing over and over. Once you get into a routine, it is best to get comfortable and not change anything. You should assume that people don’t want to hear about any adventures you have had or cool stories you can share.

3. Any connoisseur of lameness knows that you have to be self centered. The best way to avoid having to learn anything about other people is to be the one talking most of the time. I would recommend talking at least 90% of the time during a conversation. If the conversation somehow drifts away from you, quickly divert the attention back on yourself. Also, keep a closed mind so that a new way of thinking doesn’t accidentally turn you interesting

4. Don’t be Charismatic. People can accidentally be draw to you if you are charismatic. Maintain a cold, indifferent, weak/or timid presence. Maintaining “closed off” body language by crossing your arms and looking at the floor is a good signal to show how boring you are. Apathy is the best antidote to passion.

5. Try to be exactly what people want and expect. It is a good idea to copy others as much as possible and avoid any thing that might make you unique or extraordinary. Hobbies are the worst culprit – as soon as you find yourself involved in a group that plays together, hangs out, or makes something, look out!

6. Speak in a monotone. Nothing puts the class to sleep faster than the professor who sounds like the batteries are dying in the tape player. Be that professor.

7. Whatever you do, avoid cultivating a sense of style! Don’t go to the thrift shop! Also avoid art in all forms. Books are bad too, because they feed the imagination and motivate you to try cool things.

So while I can’t tell you exactly how to be interesting, cool, or a great person.  I can tell you that if you stick to my advice above, you will succeed in being boring, lame, and uninteresting.  Try them out next time you go to a party!

Or, try out the opposite and be a most interesting character.

Question: What is the most boring attribute one can have?